Monday, November 22, 2010

Jaws

De dum De dum De dum (faster now) De Dum De Dum De Dum De Dum

In case you can't tell, the above is my version of the theme song from Jaws or more appropriately, Bean's theme song du jour. She is teething, or so I gather from frenzied behavior of rapidly shoving everything and anything into her mouth.

As a new mom, you hear about teething for months and like so many things that involve pregnancy and babies, you have no idea what everyone is talking about until it finally happens to you.  Take labor for example.  You read all about it, but until you are right in the thick of it breathing and saying your Hail Marys, and begging for an epidural, you have no idea what to expect.

From the time Bean was four months old, any fussiness was written off as "She's teething."  Bean's sleep schedule changed, "Maybe she's teething."  Bean pooped in the middle of the night, "Teething!" When Bean had her first fever, I thought for sure that she was getting the dreaded "teething cold."  I stuck my finger in her mouth feeling around for something sharp just underneath the gums.  Nothing.  Bean responded accordingly by CHOMPING on my finger and then shrieking in terror.  Still no tooth.

One week after her first ear infection, her tooth was spotted.  Like a lookout from a ship, I saw it, rubbing my eyes to make sure it was real.  Could it be?  Is that really a tooth or is it leftover rice cereal?  Again, I braved her mouth and poked around in there and felt it!  Yes!  It was a tooth!    I pried her mouth open forcefully to get a better look, and there it was staring back at me, one tiny little white patch in sea of pink slimy flesh.  The next day, there were two tiny white lines visible just under the gums, and here they've remained, torturing and upsetting Bean on a daily basis and upsetting me on a nightly basis.

Now the great teething mystery has been solved.  I know without a doubt that she is teething, as I can see her two bottom middle teeth slowly but surely poking through.  And as if that visual proof wasn't enough, Bean has shoved the following items voraciously into her mouth this past week:

blocks
books (board books, children's books and my Kindle)
my turtleneck sweater
the mouse for the computer
laptop (screen and keyboard)
remote
Wii remote
soft foam tiles that she plays on
mittens
wooden spoons
IPhone
Wipes container, as well as wipes inside it
Changing mat
Desitin
Bumbo and Bumbo tray
Every single toy that she owns, including the box that they are kept in

When a new object, or even an old object is presented to Bean, she studies it momentarily with her head slightly tilted to one side. She then grasps it firmly in her hand, opens her mouth as wide as it can go and hungrily CHOMPS down on it.  A trail of drool drips slowly from her mouth.  After a minute or so, the object is tossed aside hastily and new object is found and this same exercise is repeated.  As Bean only  barely has two teeth, and there are so many more delicious choking hazards in our apartment, I suspect that baby proofing might have to be expedited.

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