Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Vampire Baby

My child is a vampire.   I thought this before, but now I'm certain.  There were clues leading up to this moment: her paleness, her complete and utter dislike for the sun, the translucent quality of her skin.  In the past, I've attributed her complexion to the Irish ancestry of her parents, but perhaps Bean has a little bit of good 'ole Transylvania in her too.

So yes, my daughter is like some beast out of Twilight.  I say, beast lovingly.  She is much cuter though than the spawn of Edward and Bella.  Bean's new skill of giving kisses has quickly morphed into open mouthed lunges with her two little Chiclet teeth chomping into my cheek.  No blood has been spilled yet, but like a fifth Twilight book, it is inevitable.

It started out so cute and innocent.  I'm working with Bean on her ability to stand.  She has very strong legs, but unlike a Weeble, she will fall down.   I like to sit in front of her, holding her outstretched hands.   She loves standing, swaying, dancing, wobbling dangerously from side to side.  It almost looks like she is hula hooping, only she doesn't have a hula hoop.  It's just her little tiny gnome body working hard to balance itself out.   When she stands, her two feet are turned out slightly and a series of contagious giggles escape her mouth.  The longer she stands, the prouder and more excited she gets by her own vertical prowess.

This is where trouble starts.  She catches my eye, recognizing me as her buddy and then she quickly places one hand on each of my shoulders and then she ferociously thrusts herself at me, her mouth agape.  Her eyes open wide and a  loud "Ooahmm" is heard as she violently opens and closes her mouth on my cheek, my face, my forehead.  Strings of saliva are dripping from her mouth now, like a rabid dog and still she can't stop smiling.

When she's finally done, she plops down on her diapered behind.  A look of serene satisfaction decorates her face.  With her arms extended, I pick her up.  She nuzzles softly into my neck and CHOMP, the "kisses" start all over again.

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