Friday, March 2, 2012

All By Myself. Don't Want to Be All By Myself...Anymore

I hope that when you read the title of this blog,  you sang the title a la Celine Dion, thumping your chest dramatically and wistfully looking out into the distance.

This is how I feel most days.  I'm by myself with Bean in a town where I know three people, one of which is my realtor.  And since we closed on the house, she stopped returning my e-mails.  It's lonely.  I'm lonely.  I look forward to my husband coming home from work not just to see his face and share responsibility of Bean, but so I can talk to another human being about anything other than Elmo.  I love Bean, and I absolutely adore being home with her, but I miss my manhattan mom life;  friends, running partners, music classes, even my former doormen.

I have to give myself time.  I joined the local YMCA and I even joined a Newcomers club so I'm sure that my social schedule will be filling up soon.  Here's the thing though, I have to be the 'mom flirt,' that outgoing, affable version of myself if I want to 'pick up' other mom friends.  I can't come across as too desperate because moms can smell that.  I'm borderline awkward/hyperactive.  It takes people at least a solid two weeks to 'get' me.  And by that time,  in mom world, they've already moved on to the next thang.  Plus, I'm almost always the weirdo with baked goods, and post-baby moms don't always like cookies (crazy)!

I'm joining a play group next week.  Terrifying.  I never belonged to a playgroup before, preferring to do my own thing and casually move from mom friend to mom friend (read: mom slut).  I didn't like the commitment of play groups in the city because I had so many other things to do.  I didn't want to be tied down to any group, rather I wanted to play the field of moms.  Now I'm singing a different tune.

I will go to the play group at the designated time armed with witty banter, cheerful tales about motherhood and scones.  And if they don't like my scones, well, more for me and Bean!

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