Monday, March 12, 2012

Whatchamacallit

Um, how do I put this delicately?  I've named Bean's genitalia.

I don't recall my mom ever calling my vagina anything.  We referred to it and all the mysterious lady parts therein as crotch.   And I suppose, that this lack of knowledge sufficed through most of my teen years, right up through college.

Now I have a daughter, with her very own wee little lady parts.  I don't want to avoid naming them, nor do I want to use the proper medical jargon.  I mean, vagina?  Vulva?   Who named these things?  They sound more like communicable diseases or rogue planets from Star Trek than body parts.  Even though I came of age with celebrities reading from the Vagina Monologues, my own history with my lady parts is that I don't talk about them, unless I'm with a qualified gynecologist and only when answering yes or no questions.  That's me.  Maybe it's from years of Catholic school.  Maybe it's from growing up in house where the birds and bees were skipped entirely.  Or maybe it's because a nun taught my fourth grade class about sex using her hands to demonstrate intercourse.  All those things could scar a child, but as an amateur psychologist, I would like to postulate that it was my mom's fault for never properly naming my lady parts, nor ever having a frank discussion about said lady parts.

I would like to raise my own daughter with a better understanding of her lady parts.  To that end, I've decided to call it her Who-Ha now, and as she gets older, and by older I mean like eight, not twenty-two, we will start calling it by its proper now.  She'll get a formal introduction at the appropriate time, but for now, a nick name of Who-Ha, Minnie Ha Ha, or just plain ole Ha will suffice.

Bean now grabs her Ha and shouts "HA" whenever I change her diaper.  She is already more advanced than her Mama!

1 comment:

  1. oh god. hysterical. please let me see danielle's counter to this post.

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