Monday, April 16, 2012

Acceptance

Whenever Bean falls down, which happens a lot since she is my daughter, she starts to cry and runs immediately to Mama.  I hold her in my arms, rock her gently, rub her back and ask very quietly where is her boo-boo.  She will then point to her knee, her head, her butt, her pinkie finger or any other affected area and I quickly swoop in with a kiss and the boo-boo magically disappears.  Bean will run off in any direction and return to her regularly scheduled programming (mess-making, dancing, emptying cabinets, ELMO).  Mommy magic heals instantly.

If only my boo-boos were as easily vanquished!  Last week, I was struck with pneumonia.  I say struck because the illness, literally came out of nowhere and essentially paralyzed me with pain.   I was barely able to make Bean's birthday cake and we had to order out for lunch and dinner on her actual birthday.  That is not like me.  I missed Bean running around hunting Easter eggs at my brother's house.  I missed taking pictures with Bean dressed ridiculously cute in her Easter dress, complete with a Frenchy-French beret.  Worst of all, I had to cancel Bean's Barnyard Birthday Bash party.

I felt like the worst mom in the world.  Luckily, Bean didn't really know she missing anything, but Mama did know.  It occurred to me at some point during my medically-induced coma-like sleep that I could lay in bed frustrated and sad because my plans for the week and Bean's party fell apart or I could just accept and amend my plans.

Here's what doesn't matter:

  • The growing mound of laundry and piles of clothing that need to get put away.
  • The mysterious sticky yuck on the kitchen floor can get mopped up later.
  • Vacuuming the rugs would first require me putting away all of Bean's toys which would require where more energy than I have.
  • Making a barn out of TV cardboard box that I saved from January for the party that may or not happen
  • Washing the windows which if I'm being honest, I don't really know how to do.

Here's what does matter:

  • My family loves me enough to check on me daily.  
  • My mother-in-law came by for three days straight to watch Bean and take care of me.  Only an Italian Gramma would consider meatballs medicine.
  • My husband stayed home to watch Bean, got my medicine and made sure that I ate daily.
  • My dad drove out and bought every kind of soup he could find to make feel better.
  • My darling daughter asked me every time that I winced in pain "You okay?"
  • When sitting on the floor, Bean came up to me and rubbed my back the same way I rub her back when she's hurt.  She then asked "Where boo-boo?"  and kissed my side.  
The funny thing about mommy magic, it works in reverse too.

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