Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Hey Mom

I didn't think I would hear "Hey Mom!" until Bean was at least a 'tween and watching those bitchy Nick Jr.  shows regularly.  What happened to Mama?  Or Mommy?  I can't be Mom already.  I don't even own the requisite high-waisted Wrangler Mom jeans yet?  Although, I will admit that I nailed the Mom Shimmy (stand around awkwardly and step from side to side, clapping wildly off beat to any song) at an early age.  Shouldn't I get of few more years of being called Mommy?

Bean is almost two and half.  Remember when you would add the half or three quarters to your age to appear more mature or wiser or just plain cooler?  Well, Bean does that now probably because she heard me say it once or twice so now we are both responsible for hitting fast forward on my her life.  And now she calls me "MOM,"and call me crazy but sometimes, just sometimes, I detect a note of passive-aggressiveness in her voice.

Strangely enough, Bean only calls me "Mom" in very specific situations and when she does so, I believe that she is taunting me.  She doesn't say "Mom" in the morning when she's looking for a cuddle or breakfast.  She doesn't say it after preschool when she comes barreling into my open arms for a hug.  Nor does she say it at night when she's snuggled warm against me reading a book together.  No, she saves her "MOM"s for that special moment when she runs away to the corner naked while escaping a diaper/wardrobe change.  I should mention that this occurs daily and leaves me scratching my head and giggling hysterically on the inside.  Johnny Castle was totally wrong when he said "Nobody puts Baby in the corner!"  No, Baby Bean puts herself in the corner daily, always shouting "Mom!"  and always pleading to be naked.

I then have to explain to her that she can't be naked because she has to go to school, or the Y or the playground or wherever  else we have to go.  She doesn't get this and pleads her case further.  I respond with a firm "NO." And then she shouts with a melody reminiscent of Hanson's "Mmm Bop", "Hey Mom!  Hey Mom! Hey Mom!" from her corner, shaking her naked derriere from side to side.

I'm just waiting to hear "Whatever Mom!"  because I know that one is coming, but hopefully not until she's in the double digits.

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